What a difference nine months can make!

I took pictures a couple of days ago when the girls were playing in their little pool. As I looked at the pictures, I started thinking about how amazing and new the whole blow-up wading pool experience was to Ruby and Elizabeth (and Nora too for that matter) such a short time ago. Everything was new then, and many, many things are still new to all three of them now.

Nora has been with us for one year and nine months; Ruby and Elizabeth have been with us for nine months. And still, every day brings new experiences. Every day brings some small losses too. Ruby and Elizabeth can remember songs and sing them over and over again -- but they can no longer remember what the words mean. Nora can remember that she loved watermelon in China, but she can no longer remember the Mandarin word for watermelon. They can see a picture of a friend or caregiver from the orphanage, but they can no longer remember the name.

As an adoptive mom, I try to help each of my daughters keep memories of their birth country and family alive. We talk about their life there, eat the foods they used to eat, and we say prayers for the people in their birth country who love and miss them. I must admit though, that although I feel sad for the things that are growing dimmer in their memory, I'm also glad for the fact that they are putting a difficult past in a different "space" in their mind and that the life they now live is their normal -- plenty of food, health care, clothing, warmth, learning, God, and most of all the unending love of a large and devoted family.

So, on this Memorial Day weekend, I remember many loved ones who I've lost, but I would also like to remember a mother and father in China, and a mother and father in Ethiopia. They gave my daughters life. And because they had to make the impossible decision to give them up, they are now a part of our life. We, in the United States, could not imagine being in a position where we had to put our children in an orphanage, or leave them on a sidewalk, and walk away. But our reality is not the same as the reality of parents in other countries.

Nine months ago...

And now...

My girls!