Lately I've been giving a lot of thought to the choices I've made in my life. One reason is because I think God is still teaching me to be comfortable with the really good choices I've made in the last six or seven years of my life.
Recently, Tony and I began talking about having someone he works with come over to our home for dinner. We have been to their home a couple of times, and they have dropped a couple of hints asking when they will be invited to ours. You see, they know we don't live in a large, beautifully-furnished house in the suburbs (like they do). Maybe they think it would be interesting to see where/how we live, or maybe they just really want to visit our home. But why am I reluctant to invite them? So let me digress...
Only a few short years ago, Tony and I lived in Florida in a beautiful house with a nice yard and a swimming pool. We both drove sports cars, we traveled, we threw parties -- you get the idea. Five years ago, we bought the 12 acres and farm house in Missouri, where we live now, as a place to visit once in a while and "someday" build a new house on when we got ready to move away from Florida(plus it had belonged to my grandparents and we didn't want it to leave the family). Well, we made some choices -- and very good ones! Three and a half years ago we decided to go ahead and leave Florida due to the economy and job market (and me wanting to be closer to family), so we sold our Florida home and probably half of our belongings and moved to Missouri. This allowed us to pay off most of our land in Missouri, which we now own outright. We have only a small mortgage payment.
Then we decided to grow our family, and that meant making a choice between building that new house we wanted or adopting -- and deciding to live on one income so that I could stay home with our daughters. And then a funny thing happened -- we adapted to living a much simpler life and are happy living without the stress of all the "stuff" we used to think we wanted/needed. We most DEFINITELY want to build that new house on our property, but it's because we need more space and another bathroom. However, we have a ways to go before we can comfortably spend money on building a house. A bank would easily loan us the money to build right now, but we've become pretty conservative with our spending these days.
So why am I reluctant to invite certain people to our home? I shouldn't be. I know that in my heart, but for some reason I still care if people judge me/us by the house we live in. And the truth is they probably wouldn't make any judgment -- it's just my own insecurity. Typing these words makes it even more crystal clear how crazy it is to feel this way. We live conservatively, and that is a very smart move anytime, but especially in a poor economy. And more importantly, living conservatively makes us HAPPY. So, what is the point of all of this? I think God is still working on me. I'm happier than I've ever been, and I love my life and my family, but maybe I still have some pride that I need to set aside. We have so much, and I'm so very thankful for that!
5 comments:
You should be extremely proud of your choices. My guess is there are many that are envious of you who would love to "leave it all behind" for a simpler life but will never have the courage to do so.
I remember so many years ago your life and how different things were. I was right there with you. And you have changed and grown so much. And I'm so proud of you. And like Julie said, I'm envious. Because I know things would be a lot better for Greg & I and our family if we simplified our life a bit.
You should be very proud of your home and your life. You and Tony have made some very tough and VERY smart choices and that should make you proud. I've seen the houses you've lived in before but this "home" has SO MUCH more than those others ever had.
Let the friends come over and see your life. I'm sure they will be envious. Who knows, you might be the catalyst that causes them to make important changes in their life. Love you!
I am a friend of a friend of yours. I just read your blog for the first time and am impressed with the openness about your financial decisions. I am in the very beginning stages of planning a single parent adoption and am therefore making many financial choices. I think you should feel excited to share your choices with these people. I agree with the other responses that they may feel envious of the strength you both have to follow through on your commitments. The other way it could go is they judge you for your simplicity and you feel grateful that you don't have that mindset. Thanks for your story!
What a great life story! You will not have regrets on your death bed like a lot will. And you will hear the words "Well done" from God!
Dearest Becky...do you remember not too long ago, less than 10 years when I lived in Cleveland in that dumpy 1970's trailer??? I remember when you came into town...I thought I PLEASE!!!!! don't have Becky come over---she will think I am such a loser!!! It just so happened that you "stopped by" and I will NEVER forget what you said to me...you said,"I am so proud of you!! Now you have your own place and are out on your own!!" You will NEVER know what that meant to me....obviously, cause I still remember it..and you were standing on the dumpy screened-in porch walking out when you said it! I think your place is awesome...very comfortable and welcoming!!!!! AND FULL OF LOVE!!!!!!!
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